A reader writes:
I’ve an especially low-stakes query: Is there a solution to say “did you obtain my present?” that doesn’t come off as aggressively asking to be thanked however as an alternative expresses what I actually wish to know, which is, “FedEx/and many others stated it was delivered however was it actually? Or do I would like to analyze?”
My office has a really versatile work-from-home coverage so I don’t essentially see the small staff I handle in particular person on a predictable schedule. This was sophisticated this 12 months by me catching a chilly and dealing from residence the entire final week earlier than our two-week winter break.
I despatched the identical kind of present I ship yearly (usually very enthusiastically acquired). I bought emails from the seller that they have been delivered, and just one particular person texted to say she acquired it. I waited two days after which despatched texts to the three others to make sure the items arrived. Everybody responded that they’d and “thanks” and “sorry, I used to be ready to thanks in particular person (which might have been in over two weeks at that time). Then I felt like I’d been pushy. I actually simply needed to know if I wanted to analyze a problem!
This has occurred in my private life as properly. Proper now it has been over a 12 months since attending my pal’s marriage ceremony and I haven’t acquired a thank-you observe for the present I despatched. I’m questioning he thinks I’m low cost or unmannered and simply opted out of gifting. I don’t wish to ask as a result of a number of years in the past I did ask a pal a couple of present greater than a 12 months after his marriage ceremony and I acquired a swiftly written thank-you observe the subsequent week. I don’t want thanks! I simply have to know you bought it!
I used to be capable of remedy this with my hassle re: items for my niblings simply sufficient; I stated that it was vital to me to get a “hey, bought the package deal” textual content, even when it’s not vital to him to ship one. However I can’t say that to my staff members or when it’s a one-off present. Am I the one one who worries about this and I simply have to tamp down my nervousness? Begin gifting in particular person?
You aren’t the one one who worries about this, and you might be proper that it’s onerous to navigate with out coming throughout as for those who’re fishing for a thank-you.
The simplest solution to keep away from it’s certainly to present the present in particular person, however that’s not at all times doable or sensible.
The following best strategy is to ship a observe near the time you count on the present to reach, saying one thing like, “I despatched you one thing small within the mail — it ought to arrive this week.” That manner, they’ll know to let if nothing arrives. In order for you, you possibly can even add, “I’m at all times nervous in regards to the mail at the moment of 12 months so please let me know if it doesn’t arrive.” However after that, you don’t have to comply with up; you’ve alerted them that it’s coming, and so the half you’re fearful about is taken care of.
In fact, it’s nonetheless doable that they may not warn you if the present doesn’t arrive — as a result of they’re forgetful or they really feel awkward about telling you they didn’t obtain something — however you’ll have taken affordable steps and don’t really want to cowl each doable base. The exception could be if the present is one thing so helpful that it warrants extra follow-up — however I’m guessing you’re not sending staff members diamond jewellery or something like that.
Alternately, it’s not that huge of a deal if you wish to simply say, “Hey, did you get the package deal I despatched you?” However because you’re in search of options, these are some.