A reader asks:
One in all my staff is positioning himself to maneuver up in a few years. He would nonetheless report back to me, however the working relationship can be somewhat totally different, and it might have a serious affect on my work and the group if that relationship is poisonous. The issue is that he thinks he’s lots smarter than me. He apparently learn one thing about “managing up” and now he’s making an attempt to handle me. He’s very, very unhealthy at it. His makes an attempt to control me are clumsy, however he doesn’t notice that I do know what he’s doing (as a result of he’s certain that he’s a lot smarter than me). There’s additionally some sexism occurring right here (I’m feminine, and he appears to have issues with that generally). Each dialog degenerates into extremely irritating condescension and smugness on his half. For instance, he has stated issues like:
• “My expectation is that you’ll give me a touch should you assume there could also be a change developing.” Me: No, not occurring. I attempt to squelch rumors, not unfold them. And if there’s a change coming, your division head will know first.
• “My expectation is that you’ll change the assembly time.” Me: No, a gathering that entails 27 folks and has been scheduled for a month won’t be rescheduled only for you.
• A few minor snafu with one other workforce: “I’m certain you perceive why it’s worthwhile to have this individual fired.” Me: Let’s simply speak about how we’re going to deal with a reasonably small downside.
He all the time ends with a smirk and a sluggish nod. Proper now, I simply smile, ignore it every time attainable, and get again to the problem at hand. Sometimes I’ve addressed it head on, once I must make clear that he will certainly not be getting what he needs this time.
I wish to name him on this, as a result of it’s getting very tiresome. It additionally sidetracks the dialog away from the necessary stuff we should be discussing. And I don’t take pleasure in being handled with such disrespect. I’m tempted to provide him a e book on the subject and inform him he wants to check some extra earlier than making an attempt this once more. However in calmer moments, I do know that degree of bluntness will simply embarrass him and put him on the defensive. How can I cease this habits with out doing an excessive amount of harm to our work relationship? Or do I simply need to put up with sentences that begin, “My expectation is that you’ll…” without end?
A complicating issue is that he’s standard along with his colleagues, who would be the ones contemplating him for the promotion in a number of years. I might doubtlessly veto their resolution, however it could destroy my credibility with the remainder of the division so I’d quite work out make this work if I can.
I reply this query over at Inc. at this time, the place I’m revisiting letters which were buried within the archives right here from years in the past (and generally updating/increasing my solutions to them). You can learn it right here.